I've been holding out on posting new designs on here so that I can coordinate the design posts with their launch on Modern Yardage. So, in the meantime, I thought I'd post, here and there, about my life.
What better time to start than now? Because, today was life changing.
No, for reals. I had a moment.
I signed up for a class on Breathwork. As crunchy granola as it sounds I decided to just go for it. I've been diving into meditation, NLP, and CBT ,cognitive behavioral therapy not to be confused with Cock and Ball Torture ; ). All in hopes of finding some calm, some happiness, and some sense of fulfillment. Breathwork, even though I didn't know exactly what it entailed, looked like a great next step.
The class was at my local yoga studio. I arrived early and found a mat, bolster, and blanket. Once I nervously settled in, about five other people arrived and the session began. While on our backs, bolster under our knees, we began to breathe through our mouths, in for one second, out for one second, in for one second and out again, on and on (for an hour!). It was really difficult at first, I kept getting distracted by my mouth drying out and the breathing felt fast paced. But soon my mind left those worries and the tingling began racing through my body, head spinning, I felt high. I flashed between states of discomfort to full relaxation to parts of my body that felt on fire while the rest of me was ice cold. At one point the teacher came over and guided me through some of the tingling which was when I had my breakthrough. It was strange, I remember her saying at the beginning of the session,
"If you have any tingling, let me know, I'll help you through it."
And I thought, as I usually do when someone offers me help
"That's nice, but I'm sure I can do it on my own."
I was so wrong. Her coaching was massively helpful. She helped me get to the root of the pain. As soon as she finished helping me the water works started. I was crying uncontrollably. So not like me. I'm the kind of cryer where "You do that in the shower." So, to be crying, in a room full of strangers, that in itself was mind blowing. After the session my head felt light and I remember thinking
"This is how I feel after doing mushrooms, like I've just had a brain massage."
She has another session coming up this week. But, I think I'm going to wait and go again next month. It was like having the most intense but helpful therapy session without having to talk about myself a bunch. Ideal!