Sunday, November 21, 2010


I miss my art studio
I haven't worked on a painting for over a year because my art studio is 3,000 miles away. And as I've said before I can't afford to move it out here, nor could I afford the space to store it out here. Which, is also why I haven't bought new supplies and why I work on my computer so much. 
You would think that other artists would sympathize but, the only painter I've known since moving here used it as in excuse to attempt to degrade me in order to build her self esteem and make herself feel special. Because "artists are special." (I shit you not, she said that) And designers aren't. And since I've spent a year without my art studio, 1 year out of 10, I am now only a designer! Who knew that could happen so fast! 
So I am no longer special. What a joke. I wouldn't want to be in the Special People's club anyway. 
On top of all that, this "painter" said herself, that she doesn't even enjoy painting. WHAT?!?!?! And I'm not writing this to pick on her. I just feel the need to vent as this is someone who has consistently said degrading remarks to me and the only reason I can think of is that, I am also female and an artist, but I work on a project EVERYDAY and she not only doesn't, but does not even enjoy it when she does! Sounds frustrating. 
Identity crises are a bitch. But, hey, keep it to yourself, journal, get a therapist, go in to a different room if you're feeling inferior. Don't try to shit on my head, 'cause I won't stick around. I've stayed polite, to not stoop to her level but, I've wanted to rip her a new one.
And, my lifestyle of creating something everyday does not make me special. I do it because I have to. I do it because otherwise I can't sleep. I know it's a product of my anxiety and maybe a dash of OCD. I know I'm only alive for so long and I feel like I was asleep until around age 25. Well, I'm awake now and I have a ton of work to do!

So, I don't hate this painter. I just know she's not someone I should be around. And I feel better getting this off my chest and into the internetverse. And you're lucky I didn't go into her views on what is and isn't art. Painfully ignorant.

Speaking of someone who painted because she had to. I watched the Movie 


About the artist Séraphine de Senlis, who was hard working, poor, made her own energy wine, talked to trees, and painted all night long.
Her work is beautiful and I feel like she spoke to the trees because they spoke to her. When I smoked DMT earlier this year, the trees spoke to me. The movement you see in her painting's is how they move. The bright details are their souls. (Hippie alert, I sound like a cheese dick!) 
Her work is fantastic. 

I wanted to post some of my new surface designs but with my computer in the condition it is in, I am worried about pushing it too much. Or getting too deep into a print just have my laptop crap out on me and I lose all my hard work. In the mean time, I'm catching up on sewing projects and sketching. I'm also gathering materials to start chinese cupping. I've enjoyed my weekly Acupuncture classes. The whole art of healing is such a large puzzle to figure out. It's a ton of fun.

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